Short and Funny

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Ans: When you aim carefully.

Some people call them bribes..... I call them gifts.
Some people call it corruption...... I call it a party.


We live in a society where pizza gets delivered to your house before the police.


If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from dengue...... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Too Funny

A distraught mum rushed into the backyard where eight-year-old  Khurram was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded.
"I'm entertaining the baby." explained Khurram.
"Where's the baby?" asked his mum.
"Under the bath."

Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied "it was a total trick!" I saw a sign that said TO THE MONKEYS, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said TO THE BEARS, so I followed that and saw the bears. But when I followed a sign that said TO THE EXIT, I found myself on the street.      

Answer of Riddle Number 2

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:
The Wife said she was sleeping. 
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The butler was cleaning the closet.


The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?

Ans: The murderer was the maid as there is no mail on Sunday.

YAY!!!!!!!

Hey guys, I just want to thank everyone who made a thousand pageviews possible.

LOL

From an Airline's employee.... "Welcome aboard to Flight 286. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

Fred and George met on Aamir Khusro Road. 
"Say"said George, "I heard you and your wife are going to night school to take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh" answered Fred. "We went and adopted a little Mexican baby, and we want to be able to understand him when he gets old enough to talk." 

Answer of Riddle number 1

A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breadth under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said "That's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that he'd give him RS 10,0000. The kid did it and won the money.
Can you figure out how?

Ans: He took a glass of water and stayed under it for 10 minutes. 

The answer of the second riddle will be posted tomorrow.  

1st Test Match Between Pakistan and Sri Lanka

The first test between Pakistan and Sri Lanka was a very close and tense one. It was played at Sheik Zayed Stadium, Abu Dhabi. 


1st Innings: 


The first innings delighted the pakistani fans. Pakistan's captain Misbah-ul-Haq won the toss and decided to bowl first.
The pakistani bowlers managed to bowl out Sri Lanka for a humble target of  197 in 74.1 overs. Saeed Ajmel got the wicket of Thirimanne which was the first break through but Junaid Khan stole the show with his maiden five-wicket haul. He dismissed M Jayawardene, P Jayawardene, Herath, Welegedara and finally took the wicket of Fernando. Meanwhile Mathews was the only Sri Lankan to get to a decent score. He scored a brilliant 52 of just 99 deliveries and came not out. The was also some excitement when Dilshan was given out by Tony Hill because the replays showed that he never edged edged ball. Looks like Tony was having a bad day


Paranavitana                      c Adnan Akmal b Umar Gul     37 (128)
Thirimanne                      c Younis Khan b Saeed Ajmel    20 (69)
Sangakkara                    c Adnan Akmal b Aizaz Cheema   2 (6)
M Jayawardene      c Mohammad Hafeez b Junaid Khan   28 (63)
Dilshan (c)                       c Adnan Akmal b Saeed Ajmel   19 (22)
Mathews                                                             Not Out    52 (99)
P Jayawardene (wk)                                  b Junaid Khan     0 (3)
Herath                                                 lbw b Junaid Khan     0 (1)
Lakmal                        c Mohammad Hafeez b Umar Gul   18 (31)
Welegedara                     c Taufeeq Umar b Junaid Khan   11 (25)
Fernando                         c Adnan Akmal b Junaid Khan     1 (3) 
Extras                                                                                     9
                                                                                        ---------
Total                                                 (all out, 74.1 overs)      197

The Pakistani openers came into the ground looking very confident. 
197 is a very small total and Pakistan hoped to get a huge lead over the Sri Lankans. Hafeez was the first one to go as he missed Herath's arm ball which struck him on the pad which was a straight forward lbw. He made 75 of 127 balls. But after that nothing went the Sri Lankan's way as Taufeeq Umar made a massive 236. Azhar Ali also added a valuable 70 while the captain, Misbah-ul-Haq made 46 of just 52 deliveries. The Sri Lankans felt that they were judged unfairly as Taufeeq nicked one to the keeper (right after making his century) but Tony Hill didn't give it. There are no DRS systems in this series so the Sri Lankans couldn't challenge the umpire's decision. In the end Pakistan declared at 511-6 in the 175th over. They had a lead of 308 runs.


Hafeez                        lbw b Herath                                75 (127)
Taufeeq                     run out Sangakkara                       236 (496)
Azhar                         b Welegedara                                70 (198)
Younis                        lbw b Welegedara                         33 (94)
Misbah-ul-Haq (c)      c P Jayawardene b Herath            46 (52)
Shafiq                          not out                                          26 (94)
Gul                              c Mathews b Herath                       0 (2)
Extras                                                                                25
                                                                                   ----------
Total                     (6 wickets declare, 174.4 overs)         511

2nd Innings:


In the second innings everybody expected Pakistan to win the match due to their large lead. The excitement started early when Umar Gul dismissed Paranavitana in the first delivery of the innings!  But due to some brilliant batting (and some pathetic catching) the Sri Lankans managed to bat out the remaining days and made sure that the match ended as a draw. Sangakkara made a match saving 211 of 431 balls and P Jayawardene added 120 to their total. The Sri Lankans managed to set up a target of 170 runs.

Paranavitana                                       lbw b Umar Gul      0  (1)
Thirimanne                                       run out Azhar Ali    68 (159)
Sangakkara                                          lbw b Azhar Ali  211 (431)
M Jayawardene                                      b Saeed Ajmel     4 (7)
Dilshan (c)                                              b Junaid Khan     9 (19)
Mathews                                             lbw b Umar Gul    22 (60)
P Jayawardene (wk)  c Adnan Akmal b Aizaz Cheema  120 (273)
Herath                                                                 not out    23 (44)
Welegedara                       c Adnan Akmal b Umar Gul     8 (11)
Lakmal                                                         b Umar Gul     0 (6)
Fernando                                            run out Azhar Ali     0 (0) 
Extras                                                                                   18
                                                                                      ---------
Total                                               (all out, 168 overs)      483


Pakistan had a go at chasing the target but it was all in vain as the first test match ended up as a draw.

Mohammad Hafeez                                not out   12 (31)
Taufeeq Umar                            lbw Welegedara   2 (11)
Azhar Ali                                                  not out   4 (21)
Extras                                                                      3
                                                                           -----------
Total                      (1 wicket, 10 overs)             21


Result: Match Drawn
Man of the Match: Kumar Sangakkara

I am very sad that the test match ended as a draw because Pakistan had got themselves of to a good start and it looked like they were going to win it. But then in the second innings they dropped five catches which allowed the Sri Lankan batsmen to make big scores. Hafeez dropped 3, Younis dropped 1 and the substitute fielder, Wahab Riaz also dropped 1. A great cricketer said "Catches win matches". Pakistan dropped a lot of catches. I hope they can improve their fielding in the next match.

Pakistan still have to play 2 more test matches so they can still win the series. So vist Cricket for more updates about cricket. Just click on this link!

Funny Quotes

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord as mad as hell.


There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.


The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. 


If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.


I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.


Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die.


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? 

Really Hard Riddles

A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breadth under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said "That's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him RS 10,0000. The kid did it and won the money. 
Can you figure out how?

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:
The Wife said she was sleeping. 
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The butler was cleaning the closet.


The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?


The answers will be posted anytime next week. But if you know the answer then just put it in a comment.

Pakistan vs Sri Lanka

Finally, the much awaited series between Pakistan and Sri Lanka gets started. This will be a series to remember as the two gigantic forces of Asia clash in the UAE. First they will play 3 tests, then 5 ODIs and  finally they are going to finish it off with a Twenty20 International.

The Pakistani test squad includes:
Misbah-ul-Haq (c)
Adnan Akmal (wk)
Asad Shafiq
Imran Farhat
Mohammad Hafeez
Shoib Malik
Umar Gul
Younis Khan
Abdur Rehman
Aizaz Cheema
Azhar Ali
Junaid Khan
Saeed Ajmel
Taufeeq Umar
Wahab Riaz


While the players of the Sri Lankan test squad are:
Tillakaratne Dilshan (c)
Dinesh Chandimal
Rangana Herath
Prasanna Jayawardene (wk) 
Kosala Kolasekara
Tharanga Paranavitana
Kumar Sangakkara
Lahiru Thirimane
Angelo Mathews
Nuwan Pradeep
Mahela Jayawardene
Suraj Randiv
Suranga Lakmal
Dhammika Prasad
Kaushal Silva (wk)
Chanaka Welegedara


Pakistan's confidence would be very high after the huge victory over Zimbabwe while Sri Lanka would still be reeling back from their loss against the Aussies. 


The Pakistani batting line-up looks very strong with Mohammad Hafeez and Younis Khan playing in the top three. Mahela Jayawardene says that he'll make sure that Sri Lanka end thier losing streak by beating Pakistan.
 Meanwhile Junaid Khan claims that he can take the place of the much missed fast bowler, Mohammad Aamir. With Taufeeq Umar looking to prove that he deserves to be on the team and with Dilshon looking to convince everyone that he is the ideal captain for Sri Lanka, this series is goin to be a tough one. 

So keep visting this blog for fast and accurate updates of Pakistani cricket.      




  

Answer of riddle number 6

There are three words in the English language that end with 'gry'. Two are 'hungry' and 'angry'. What is the third one?

Ans: Sorry I was just joking. There are only two words that end with "gry".

Answer of riddle number 5

At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?

Ans: Stars

Cats

I love cats! They are my favorite types of animals. Many people like cats. They are furry, cuddly and all the other things you like.

But have any of you seen what ridicules things cats can do? Like getting scared of it's own reflection, turning somersaults or falling down.  Here's a video which will show you all the funny and ridicules things a cat does.

And now I have posted some cool and funny photos of my cousin's cats.

OK, I know the world has become extremely modern and now everyone are using cell phones but this is really ridicules!

It's also good to see that our government is making education the first priority. 

Answer of riddle number 4

What is it that you can not hold even ten minutes, but it is lighter than a feather?

Ans: Your breadth.

Answer of riddle number 3

What is smaller than an ants mouth?
Ans: What the ants eat. 

Just Read These

Ahsan and Khurram were arguing over the breakfast table. 

"You're so stupid" said Ahsan. 
"That's enough" said their dad, "Ahsan, say sorry to Khurram."
Ahsan replied "I'm sorry you're so stupid!" 


How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat?
Put it in the front seat!


Sally, a teenager, had been talking on the phone for almost half an hour and then she hung up.
"Wow!" responded her father. "That was short, darling, you usually talk for 2 hours or more. What happened?"
"Oh" Sally smiled, "It was a wrong number."

Answer of riddle number 2

If there are 600 pages in a book, then how many pages are there on a shelf?
Ans: None, as it was a shelf not a bookshelf.

Funny Animals

Yeah! These animals will show you why you should not mess with them. We humans think that we are the smartest forms of life on earth and that nothing can deceive or outsmart us. But this video will show you how mistaken we are...... 

Jokes to make you laugh

Two kindergarten kids were talking during the lunch break.
Khurram: What is the capital of America?
Hasan: Washing D.C. 
Khurram: No! 'A' is the capital of America. Have you forgotten our lessons already?


Teacher: What is more powerful than kings and queens?
Faham: Aces!

The farmer's son was returning from the  market with the crate of chickens his father had given him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy ran all over the nieghborhood scooping up the birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Dad, the chickens got loose," The boy confessed sadly, "but I did manage to find 12 of them."
"Well you did a real good, son" the father beamed. "You left with seven."

The answer of riddle number 1

Ok guys, here's the question and the answer of the first riddle.


If I pull out ten pieces of hair from Shahid Afridi's head, how many will be left?
Ans: The rest!

Funny Riddles

If I pull out 10 pieces of hair out of Shahid Afridi's head then how many will be left?


If there are 600 pages in a book, then how many books are there on the shelf?


What is smaller than an ants mouth?


What is it that you can not hold even ten minutes, but it is lighter than a feather?


At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?


There are three words in the English language that end with 'gry'. Two are 'hungry' and 'angry'. What is the third one?


The answers will be posted one by one, starting tomorrow. For example, the first one's answer will be posted tomorrow then the next one's answer will be posted day after tomorrow and so on. 

Really Funny Jokes

2 terrorists were fixing a bomb in a car.
Terrorist 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while we're fixing it?
Terrorist 2: Don't worry, I have one more.


Faham joined a new job. The first day, he worked till late evening on the computer. His boss was very happy and asked what he had done.
Faham: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: Oh god! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sohaib: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Urdu Jokes

All of these jokes are in urdu. The only reason I posted them was because they are really good. 


Hasan: Yar "I am going" ka matlab kya hota hai?

Khurram: Main jaa raha hun.
Hasan: Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....... answer bata ke jaa..


Interviewer: Let me check your word Power.
Candidate: Ok Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of....... good.
Candidate: hmmmm....... Bad
Interviewer: Come.
Candidate: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly.
Candidate: Pichilli.
Interviewer: PICHLLIIIIIIII?
Candidate: UGLYYYYYYYYY.
Interviewer: Shut up.
Candidate: Keep talking.
Interviewer: OK now stop this all.
Candidate: Now carry on this all.
Interviewer: abe.... chup ho ja....cup ho ja.....chup ho jaaa!
Candidate: abe bolta rah...... bolta rah....... bolta rahhh!
Interviewer: Areeeee yaaar!
Candiate: Areeeee dushmannn!
Interviewer: Get out.
Candidate: Come in.
Interviewer: Oh my god.
Candidate: Oh my devil.
Interviewer: You are rejected.

Candidate: I am selected...... Thank you, thank you sir.  

Policemen Jokes

A man was in a hurry to take his eight-year old son to school. He accidently made a turn when the light was red.

"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn." the man said.

"Don't worry." the boy said. "The police car behind us did the same thing."

One day Khurram asked Hasan: So Hasan, what did you get for your birthday?

Hasan: Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside.

Khurram: OHHHHH WOWWW!!!!!!

Hasan: Yeah, I got the same exact colour tie!

What do you call a police officer that works in bed?

Ans: An undercover cop!

A boy is speeding on the road.

The police officer stops him and asks "Did you see the speed limit sign?"

The boy says "Yeah, I just didn't see you."

What's the best organized thing in our world?

Ans: Crime!

Laugh till you die

One day a boss went to his office and finds his employee crying. He asked him the problem and the employee said "Last night my mother passed away". The boss was very sad to hear that and he told the employee to take the day off. But the employee insisted on working. The boss calmed him down and then he went away. After some time the employee started crying again. The boss came back and said "What is it now!" The employee said "I called my sister and she said her mother had passed away too." 


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He shouts "My friend is dead. What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down, I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

Why you should stop supporting Liverpool

This video will show you why you should stop supporting Liverpool. Own goals, rash challenges and goal keeping errors are what Liverpool are famous for. This video will show you the fans behavior to Gerard, how Reina let an easy one get past him and how James Carragher scored a deliberate own goal against Everton and then gave the Everton's coach a high five as he was substituted. In my opinion Liverpool is not worth supporting and they will never reach the top of The Barclay's Premier League Rankings. I think Manchester United is the club which everybody should be supporting. Everyone knows that Manchester United is the real deal and that MANCHESTER UNITED ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!