Really Funny Jokes

2 terrorists were fixing a bomb in a car.
Terrorist 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while we're fixing it?
Terrorist 2: Don't worry, I have one more.


Faham joined a new job. The first day, he worked till late evening on the computer. His boss was very happy and asked what he had done.
Faham: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: Oh god! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sohaib: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Urdu Jokes

All of these jokes are in urdu. The only reason I posted them was because they are really good. 


Hasan: Yar "I am going" ka matlab kya hota hai?

Khurram: Main jaa raha hun.
Hasan: Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....... answer bata ke jaa..


Interviewer: Let me check your word Power.
Candidate: Ok Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of....... good.
Candidate: hmmmm....... Bad
Interviewer: Come.
Candidate: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly.
Candidate: Pichilli.
Interviewer: PICHLLIIIIIIII?
Candidate: UGLYYYYYYYYY.
Interviewer: Shut up.
Candidate: Keep talking.
Interviewer: OK now stop this all.
Candidate: Now carry on this all.
Interviewer: abe.... chup ho ja....cup ho ja.....chup ho jaaa!
Candidate: abe bolta rah...... bolta rah....... bolta rahhh!
Interviewer: Areeeee yaaar!
Candiate: Areeeee dushmannn!
Interviewer: Get out.
Candidate: Come in.
Interviewer: Oh my god.
Candidate: Oh my devil.
Interviewer: You are rejected.

Candidate: I am selected...... Thank you, thank you sir.  

Policemen Jokes

A man was in a hurry to take his eight-year old son to school. He accidently made a turn when the light was red.

"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn." the man said.

"Don't worry." the boy said. "The police car behind us did the same thing."

One day Khurram asked Hasan: So Hasan, what did you get for your birthday?

Hasan: Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside.

Khurram: OHHHHH WOWWW!!!!!!

Hasan: Yeah, I got the same exact colour tie!

What do you call a police officer that works in bed?

Ans: An undercover cop!

A boy is speeding on the road.

The police officer stops him and asks "Did you see the speed limit sign?"

The boy says "Yeah, I just didn't see you."

What's the best organized thing in our world?

Ans: Crime!

Laugh till you die

One day a boss went to his office and finds his employee crying. He asked him the problem and the employee said "Last night my mother passed away". The boss was very sad to hear that and he told the employee to take the day off. But the employee insisted on working. The boss calmed him down and then he went away. After some time the employee started crying again. The boss came back and said "What is it now!" The employee said "I called my sister and she said her mother had passed away too." 


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He shouts "My friend is dead. What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down, I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

Why you should stop supporting Liverpool

This video will show you why you should stop supporting Liverpool. Own goals, rash challenges and goal keeping errors are what Liverpool are famous for. This video will show you the fans behavior to Gerard, how Reina let an easy one get past him and how James Carragher scored a deliberate own goal against Everton and then gave the Everton's coach a high five as he was substituted. In my opinion Liverpool is not worth supporting and they will never reach the top of The Barclay's Premier League Rankings. I think Manchester United is the club which everybody should be supporting. Everyone knows that Manchester United is the real deal and that MANCHESTER UNITED ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!